Getting left behind is a deep, jagged cut. When someone decides “I’d rather be without you than with you,” there is a deafening loneliness and bone-chilling sadness left in the wake. It’s really hard not to believe you must have failed somehow for someone to be making that decision. But it’s not necessarily so. Sometimes people just can’t see past what they think they need and it’s actually not about you at all. It’s far easier to see that in hindsight than while you’re still icing the bruise of being dropped like a hot potato, but hang in there. Hindsight WILL come. You just gotta get to the hind first.
"I think I'm angry....is that OK?"
That was me on the phone with my therapist a few days after the bomb dropped. The dust had settled, the initial shock had worn off and suddenly something welled up inside me like “wait just a fucking minute….oh HELL no.” Since anger is not something that had ever come naturally to me, I wasn’t sure what to think. Hence the call to my therapist, who laughed heartily and said “Yes – you should be angry right now. It’s healthy and appropriate. If you weren’t angry I’d be worried.” So I ran with it.
Have you ever heard someone refer to singers as “not real musicians”? Yeah me too. Grrr. While it’s possible that someone was an asshat, it’s also possible they were simply ill-informed. So in the interest of diplomacy, let me ‘splain a little bit about the aspects of music mastery that make a professional singer.
When we made the video for 3 AM, the title track of my new record, we decided to use the imagery of memories as an inescapable prison – which is pretty much what that feels like at 3 in the fucking morning.
Break-up stage 1: the rug you were standing on has just been pulled out from under you. As you’re tumbling toward the floor, you think: “What the fuck just happened? Who are you and what have you done with my person?”
I just got married. So naturally now is the perfect time to launch a blog series about getting over a break up, right? To be clear – things between me and my über-wonderful new husband are solid as Ashford & Simpson’s rock (if you’re too young to get that reference, here – you’re welcome... ).
But a few years ago I went through a whopper of a break-up that spun me around.
Kira the backup singer is in Hollywood for first Lynda Carter show tonight. (Yes, I'm singing back-ups for Wonder Woman in case you missed that fun factoid.) Meanwhile, Kira the artist got an email saying "Attention" (from the new record, yay!) is a finalist in the 2015 International Song Competition. There's a "People's Voice" winner in each category, in addition to whoever the judges choose. I'm in the Performance category. If you'd like to weigh in, I'd be most grateful. Just click the red button I've conveniently hyperlinked just for you cuz I'm nice like that. OK gotta warm-up and run through a few tunes before soundcheck. More soon! xoxo
My day started with chasing escape artist cat around yard TWICE in my pj's before I'd even had coffee. Monday morning has just redeemed itself a bit with the arrival of this in my inbox.
Today Kira the singer-songwriter woke up at Folk Alliance in the Wonder Woman jammies she got for Christmas. Fast forward a few hours to when Kira the back-up singer got a call to do 6 dates with Lynda Carter. Can't make this shit up, guys. Now off to play showcases til 2am. #fai2016 #manifestingviajammies
HIT THE GOAL!! WAHOO!! Massively grateful to everyone who stepped up and supported this campaign - old friends, new friends, out of the blue friends, friends of friends.... really beautiful to learn how this project is inspiring people, even people I knew through the guy I wrote the record about (some of whom had no idea we'd split up....over two years ago... *crickets*) But that's another blog post entirely, and one that will probably require whiskey. Right now I must get back to work. Liner notes ain't gonna write themselves. More soon, stay tuned.
MY NEW ALBUM, "3 AM", IS DONE. WILL YOU JOIN ME IN BRINGING IT TO LIFE??
I've waited a long time to type that sentence at you. Most of you have been right there with me, along for the ride that led up to me writing and making this album - I can't type THANK YOU in capital enough letters. Now we get to celebrate and make this sucker go BOOM. (If you've just recently joined us, have no fear - you can come to the party too!)
Sometimes ghosts sneak up on you. You don't see them coming but out of nowhere they have their hands around your throat and you find yourself surprised by tears...tears you thought were long dry. But then you walk out onto your front porch and the cold air hits your face and the sight of a gentle blanket of snow covering your front yard (and its 9-foot robot guarding a Texas flag like the centurion...yeah I've been on a Dr. Who binge) stops those tears in their tracks and restores your soul.
What do I cry for?
I cry for you. I cry that I had you and lost you. I cry that you lost you...and I lost me. I cry to think maybe I never knew you. Maybe you never meant it. I cry at surrender lost to fear...blown away in an afternoon storm. Vows and tears flowing down the edge of the street mixed with rain and oil and brake fluid...dying love clinging to dead leaves, gasping for breath it can't find.
Thankful for so very much these days...the grace that I am somehow showing myself during this changing season...friends that are showing their true & bright & beautiful colors all over the world (special nod to one in particular currently floating somewhere on the North Sea)...
It pains me greatly to say this...but Bryan has asked me for a divorce. I'm sure this news will shock most of you...I assure you I'm the most shocked of all. We've had our struggles over the years,
Hi friends. Hadn't written to everyone in awhile, and I've missed you! What have you been up to?? I don't have any big news to report (well....I did just sing on a Garth Brooks record today - that was pretty rad...), but I did pass a milestone back in May that I wanted to share. Which brings me to part one of my subject line...
So I was having a pity party for myself a week ago, because Adorable Husband was headed out on the road and wouldn't be back for two months....and my chronic back pain was flaring up...and I grew a damn bunion (WTF??).... and....well....harumph!! I'd had it with my week and planted myself on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's in one hand and a pint of something else in the other.
...when I got an email asking if I'd be available to go on the road with Martina McBride for a month-long Christmas tour as part of a 4-piece background vocal group. I said yes.
Hi. I have several things to share with you, some location specific so please look to see if I'm specifying at YOU....
1 - video of me singing the national anthem at the Nashville Sounds game
2 - Reminder about upcoming WI shows
3 - Possible solo show in Chicago on 9/3 (Labor Day)
4 - House concert host search in NC/VA for duo show w/Bryan on Sunday 9/23
5 - Adorable Hubby on cover of Bass Player Magazine
But first.... I WON!!!!! Look:
"Only 2 days in and my face hurts from laughing..." @emilybaker on Twitter
Attempting to put into writing how much fun Emily and I had on our recent 3-week ToMAYto-ToMAHto Tour has been a daunting and ultimately insurmountable task. My mission was twofold: 1- play a bunch of shows for lovely people. 2- show her as big a slice of America as I could in 3 weeks. Because it would take FOREVER to try and tell you about it all, I'll distill it into headlines.....moments....you know, how I do....