I really should blog more. I think what would be required is a promise so I HAVE to do it. I want to do it so I'm able to share all the magical little experiences we've been having lately. I post little snippets on twitter and facebook...that's easier to do in the moment...but these should happen too.
In the last few months I've released my CD Raise My Voice, got filmed/interviewed by CNN.com for a piece on house concerts, played a show in Austin honoring veterans, played 10 duo shows in 8 different states w/Bryan, taught at Berklee for a weekend, and snuck in a week-long vacation in the Smoky Mountains complete with river-tubing and an 8 hour hike up Mt. LaConte and back. Any one of those things I could have written a blog about. And I wish I had - cuz now it seems too overwhelming to do so, and too far back to remember teeny magical details. And that makes me sad. Silly reason to be sad, and I'll get over it, but I want to notice it now.
And all of this stuff happened since the flood. I could write a book about that. But I know my tendency to over-feel things and if I started writing about that I'd just cry. We were lucky - both our apartment and our storage space are on high ground and escaped damage. But a mile down the road from us was some of the worst devastation in the city. I've gotta stop now - I can feel my survivor's guilt welling up. Next subject. Just know that Nashville is healing as best she can, with much love surrounding her.
Here's what I really want to do with this blog I think: beam moments into your brains. We've had so many lovely little moments. I feel so lucky right now to be doing what I'm doing, out traveling around playing my own music - finally. It's taken me a long time to figure out a sustainable way to do that. It also took me a long time to get out of my own way enough to pull it off. Two years ago I was depressed and paralyzed by fear - a fear that sounded like "I don't know what to do or how to do it" ringing in my ears constantly. I wrote "I Will Raise My Voice" to make sure I didn't silence it out of fear. It was a rope I threw up out of the hole I was in that thankfully snagged on a rock so I could pull myself out. It still is...and I'm so glad that song found it's way to the surface - so I could too.
Whew - OK - I didn't know I was going there. But I promised myself when I started writing this that I wouldn't censor it. I think I censor these things before I even write them - so they never get written. Lame-o-rama. No mas. Here goes:
I promise I will write something here once a week - even if it is short.
That just made me want to throw up. This is a good sign. Speaking of beaming moments to you - before I finished the "once a week" sentence there was a long pause in which my brain went "ok - once a week - really? so like does that mean the same day every week? that might be helpful to make sure i do it. but what if i want to write on a different day? what do i do? oh hush the discipline will probably be good for me. ok which day? today's friday so does that mean i have to stick to that? monday would make more sense after the weekend's gigs. but monday everyone's busy getting back to work. maybe wednesday...but is that too long after the weekend? tuesday mornings i have jazzercise when i'm in town...maybe once a week is too often. will people get bored? do i have anything worthwhile to say or do i just think i'm supposed to do this? is this whole endeavor just about vanity? AAAHHHH! Jesus H. Christmas would you rein it in already, you nut bag?? Just fucking write already."
There's a moment you probably could have done without. But I promised to share, and not just the pretty parts.
Attempting yet again to return to my point...I feel really lucky. And I'm trying to stay conscious of that every day. In the last year as Bryan and I have been out traveling together doing these duo shows we've said hundreds of times: "Look where we are in this moment - this is our work...our life. How lucky are we?" Like in Boston 2 weeks ago: A friend hosted a concert for us on a Friday night. His sister made us some of the yummiest pizza we'd had in a long time. His band opened up for us and their singer became an instant friend and kindred spirit. A friend I hadn't seen in 10 years came to the show and she and Bryan finally got to meet. Some other friends who were there decided they wanted to host us for a house concert next time we're there. After the show our hosts sister and some other folks busted out a boom box so they could do their dance moves while we packed up our gear - AWESOME!! :) We were pooped from the gig and I'd taught at Berklee all day, but the next day we had the pool and hot tub at the Hampton Inn all to ourselves. I distinctly remember us having the "aren't we lucky - dig this moment" conversation in the hot tub.
That's just one. There are so many.....like the next day after I finished my teaching for the day and we hopped in the van to go to Gloucester, MA since Bryan had never seen it. We pulled onto the main road by the shore where the statue is just as some priests were finishing blessing all the vessels that go out on the water. Turns out we arrived during the St. Peter's Fiesta: http://www.stpetersfiesta.org/ Here's a pic from that afternoon....
Here are a few recent twitter posts, just to give you a little taste:
6/22/10 - Sign in Fredericksburg, VA: Friday- poker / Saturday - metal bands. @bryanbeller and I can't breathe from the laughings.
6/26/10 - Wacky but fun show in Braintree last night w/@bryanbeller. Back to Berklee to teach the kiddoes again.
6/26/10 - Oh yeah - Dear The Hampton Inn with your yummy breakfast and your pool & hot tub...oh how we love thee. #wearytravelers
6/27/10 - Done teaching. Now we're here. Gloucester, MA http://yfrog.com/6cayiuj
6/28/10 - Late lunch in Irish pub in W. Newton, MA w/hubby...and Magner's.... #blesseddayoff
6/29/10 - Having coffee at friend's house. TV on for 4-yr old. Sponge Bob Square Pants Texas episode w/Junior Brown?? Score!! http://juniorbrown.com/
6/29/10 - Snuck a swim at gorgeous but closed swimming area on RI/CT border. Me: "what...are the cops gonna come?" RI Ranger: "you gotta leave." oops
6/30/10 - Pre-show clean-dog-poo-off-shoe ritual was especially cute while wearing "Puppies Aren't Products" tee from @bfas. (Best Friends Animal Sanctuary http://bestfriends.org )
7/1/10 - Drank wine w/mother-in-law while we watched our husbands shoot pool. Then we all retired to terrace w/stunning Manhattan view. #iloveourlife
7/2/10 - Manhattan in Manhattan...unusually and exquisitely appropriate. http://yfrog.com/iyjkvij
7/4/10 - Cleanest rest stop ever = WV Welcome Ctr on I-81 S from PA. Raritan club serving hot dogs & lemonade for donations. Welcome indeed!
7/4/10 - Our life on the road: timed out where we'd be at sunset, found fireworks display, arrived in time 4 noms & this: http://yfrog.com/2ol1blj
OK that's WAY more than I thought I would include here but there's still a lot missing...like our outdoor show in Connecticut with perfect weather, enthusiastic crowd and excellent home-brewed beer. Or the other outdoor show in New Jersey with a creek running through the backyard - and the neighbor across the creek who threw a bottle of champagne across intending to share it with us but who christened the wall instead. We also had full lighting that night, courtesy of a friend of our host, complete with laser displays and smoke machine - totally bitchin'.
I could go on and on about funny things that happened or beautiful things we saw while traveling... But the coolest thing by far are the people we get to be with. Whether they're old friends, family, or new folks we're just getting to know - the privilege of singing for folks and connecting with them that way is such a gift for me. That that happens in between all these other exquisitely beautiful and/or hilarious moments is just unfathomable sometimes - like we're getting away with something naughty. But mostly I choose to say "why shouldn't this be day to day life? Why shouldn't it be good, even when it's wacky?"
Indeed. Hopefully that last statement applies to blogs too...
Enjoy your moments!