[Getting Over a Break Up - A Step by Song Guide - Part 7 - "Cover My Mirrors" ]
I went through a devastating break-up a few years ago and wrote my way through it. That album, 3 AM, comes out June 10, 2016. This series is about how I got through that break up and the songs that came out of it. If you’re somewhere in the middle, hope this helps. Chin up.
The temptation to call yourself a fool after you’ve been dumped is tremendous. “I should have known! I shouldn’t have been so trusting / understanding / forgiving / stupid / needy / squishy / blahblahblah.” I felt all of that stuff and had some really dark moments. But I refused to let them pull me down into the abyss. I made a conscious choice not to let this heartbreak break me.
It would be understandable to not trust again, not love again – decide the whole thing was for suckers. Who wants to risk getting hurt again, right? That’d be a valid choice. But that would mean the heartbreak won. The darkness won. The one who left won. Fuck. That.
Don’t let the darkness win. It takes courage to keep your heart open after something like this happens. Oxford Dictionary defines courage as “The ability to do something that frightens one. Strength in the face of pain or grief.” Yes it’s scary as shit to be open to love after love seemingly let you down. But here’s the thing: IT WASN’T LOVE’S FAULT. Love doesn’t fail. People do. Love is an undeniable and indefatigable force in and of itself. I chose to stay open to whatever love had to offer. It was terrifying at times, but the result was far better than I could have imagined.
My heart got all sorts of busted up. But it’s strong and resilient and bigger than the bustedness. And smarter because of it. Yours is too - trust it. Stretch it. Take it to yoga. Give it a cookie. Tell it it looks nice today. Turn up some Earth, Wind & Fire and let it dance.
Be grateful you’ve walked through the darkness and kept enough sense of your true self to say, “You know what, darkness? You’re not for me. I’m outtie.” $20 says you’ll find your light.